Learning to Breathe
by Cynthia08
Summary: Bella wakes up in the hospital not knowing how she got there. She has forgotten all her memories from the past. The only thing she does know is how her life could get that much more complicated. This is my first Fanfic so I hope you enjoy it.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Or anything associated with it. That honor is Stephenie Meyer's.**

Learning to Breathe

BPOV

I was lying on my back, soaking in as much sun as possible. Usually in Forks Washington, all you ever get is big raindrops covering every inch of the sky. A meadow that I accidentally stumbled upon was my favorite place to come to escape reality. It was like all my worries and all the stares of Charlie just washed off my back. Ever since I had gotten into that motor cycle accident, he was constantly hovering over me trying to protect me. But from what? I could not understand him at all anymore. Hell I was just learning about what he liked and didn't like. I honestly didn't know him at all. I didn't know anyone. A part of me went missing ever since that day in the field with Jacob. He told me the story when I woke up in a hospital bed freaking out because first, I didn't know where I was, and second I didn't know who he was. I let my mind wonder back to the memory of me opening my eyes for the first time.

Charlie just stared at me in my eyes. With agony in his, trying to find the right words.

"Who-who are you?" I said in a quiet tone.

"Bella hunny it's me Charlie, your Dad."

"I don't know you, why am I here?"

"I know everything seems a little out of place right now Bells, but if you just listen I can explain what happened to you. Are you up for that?"

"O-okay." I didn't even sound like me, I sounded like a scared little girl trying to understand.

He breathed in a deep breath and began the story.

"You are my daughter Isabella Swan. We live here in Forks Washington. Your mother Renee Lives in Jacksonville Florida with her new husband Phil. Your friend Jacob was teaching you how to ride a motorcycle in a field in La Push and he told me that you lost control of the bike and hit a tree. You flew through the air and hitting your head on a tree stump, which is why you do not remember anything. You lost your memories from your past."

I could tell that he was starting to worry because at that second I stopped breathing. Actually, I was hyperventilating and couldn't get the air into my lungs. Before I knew it, two nurses were coming in and checking on my Vital signs.

"Come down hunny, breathe…it's alright just keep breathing."

I lost control over my emotions and began crying hysterically into this strangers arms. At the same time, I felt safe and loved. It seemed like I cried for hours and hours, and the man who claimed to be my father just held me and kept on repeating it's going to be okay.

What was that? As my mind came back into reality, I saw something or someone in a distance. I've been coming to this meadow for 3 months now and not once had I seen an animal let alone anything or anyone else. My heart started to pound and I tried to focus my eyes into the deep black forest that surrounded me. Coming out of the forest I saw a boy, the most breathe taking thing that I have ever laid eyes on. In this moment, I went from being scared, to being interested on what he was doing here. He moved very cautiously with his hands out in front of him, holding them out as if he was surrendering something.

"I'm not going to hurt you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Or anything associated with it. That honor is Stephenie Meyer's.**

**Hey guys this is just a recap on the first Chapter. I would really love some Reviews to let me know how I am doing. IF you have any ideas let me know and maybe I can add it in ;). **

**Recap- Bella woke up in a hospital bed not knowing who she was let alone who anyone else is. She found the meadow that her and Edward use to go to and is laying in the middle soaking up the sun when someone unexpected shows up. **

_He moved very cautiously with his hands out in front of him, holding them out as if he was surrendering something. _

_"I'm not going to hurt you."_

"Who are you?" Did I already know him? He was looking at me like he was in pain and he wasn't breathing.

"Bella don't you remember me?"

I got to my feet as fast as I could and looked at him with my mouth hanging open. It looked like his skin was reflecting a rainbow. He was so beautiful. As the shock finally sunk down a little I finally spit out the words.

"How do you know my name?"

"I've only been gone 3 months and you already forgot about me and what you promised me."

"How could I forget something I never said? I don't even know who you are."

"Its me love, Edward."

I would have never forgotten this beautiful face. Maybe he was mistaking me for someone else. Its like my mind was trying to force me to remember but it was blank. I couldn't help but stare at him in confusion. The emptiness in my eyes must have shown his deepest fears.

"Edward?"

"How could you loose me already Bella? How could your heart move on so fast? I know its what I asked you to do but you must remember."

The only thing I knew to do was cry and crying I did a lot. I was use to it just flowing out of me like the rain that poured down all the time. As I started to cry the boy Edward came flying at me so fast I couldn't believe my eyes. What was he? Did I fall asleep laying in the sun in my meadow?

"Shh… Bella don't cry, I'm here now."

I shuddered at his touch and he backed away slowly. Why was he so cold? I knew nothing about this boy, so why was he trying to comfort me?

EPOV

I was still in udder agony leaving Bella behind. I wanted to go back and take her in my arms and tell her I loved her and everything I said was a lie. But would that be the best thing for her? Would it be the best thing for me? If I had a heart then it would be telling me yes, but since I don't I just sat there on a rock watching Emmett hunt. When he was done with his bear he came to me and sat down.

"What's going on Edward? Still thinking about Bella?"

"I am always thing about Bella."

"Well remember it was your choice to leave. I didn't want to go and you know no one else wanted to leave either."

"Can you stop reminding me of what I already know! It was the best thing for her, for everyone."

"I cant see why you just don't change her. It would make everything that much easier."

A sudden growl lifted from my chest and I was on my feet in a split second. I ran as fast as I could not wanting to hear Emmet's thoughts anymore. He yelled loudly "I'm just trying to help you out Edward, running from your past isn't going to solve your problems or drown out the memories. Come back and hunt."

But I just couldn't go back. I couldn't face the truth of what he was saying. I was running from the memories of her perfect heart shaped face. Her beautiful lips and her eyes that shot through me every time I thought about her. Before I knew it I was halfway back to Washington. Why was I coming here? What would I say to her? It didn't matter to me anymore, I needed Bella like the Rain needed clouds.

I stopped only a few feet from her house. It was very bright outside and I couldn't expose myself like this in the sunlight. I listened to every thought on the street and ran as quickly as I could through the yard climbing the house and into her bedroom window. It was unlocked of course like it always was and has been ever since the first day I came through it. I didn't hear anyone in the house or smell anyone. I went to the front window to see if I could see her truck. It was gone! Where could she be? I never stopped to think that she had moved on with her life. When my mind started racing I heard the front door open and slam shut.

"Bella?"

I heard Charlie's thoughts as if they were my own.

Now where could that girl go? Every time I leave the house on Saturday its like she ups and leaves. Ahh here it is the note she always leaves me. 'Charlie went on a hike, don't worry be back before sundown, I love you. Bella.'

So that's where she went, hiking. Hmm…I wonder where she would hike too. The first place that came to my mind was the meadow I took her to not that long ago. I jumped out of the window and ran as fast as I could. I knew this forest like the back of my hand so it didn't take to long to search for that scent I've been dying to smell again. I stopped dead in my tracks and watched her laying in our meadow. Our perfect little world where we would escape the realities of what I was, a Vampire. Her eyes were closed and it looked like she was frustrated, trying to remember a memory that escaped her mind. I just wanted to go up to her and kiss her tenderly and tell her I would never leave again, but my body froze where I stood. She sat up and looked in the direction where I was. Now I had to move to tell her I was sorry. There is no use anymore, I procrastinated long enough. As I stepped through the dark forest I heard her gasp.

'I'm not going to hurt you." I said. Of course she knew I wasn't going to hurt her, why would I say a thing like that.

"Who are you?"

Could this really be true? Did she already forget about me? About our love, our secret to the world?

"Bella don't you remember me?" I watched her as if she was playing a cruel joke. But this isn't Bella, she wouldn't do this. I wanted to ask her so many questions but before I couldn't speak she asked me,

"How do you know my name?"

"I've only been gone 3 months and you already forgot about me and what you promised me."

"How could I forget something I never said? I don't even know who you are."

"Its me love, Edward."

"Edward?"

"How could you loose me already Bella? How could your heart move on so fast? I know its what I asked you to do but you must remember." Her face was blank and then she started to cry. The only thing I knew to do was take her in my arms and hold her and comfort her. But when my skinned touch her she shuddered. I backed away slowly to give her some room. Now this has gone to far, she would have to remember who I was. I finally spoke…

"Are you alright Bella?"

"Its just so hard to put your face in my past, it just doesn't make any sense."

"Why cant you remember my face? It hasn't been that long ago since I held you in my arms every night.'

"You see I don't remember anything from my past. I was in a coma for a few months and all my memories are gone from me."

I stopped breathing. What was she telling me? I left her and the first thing she did was get hurt and be put in a COMA!! I knew something like this happened, even after she promised me I knew it but just didn't want to face the facts.


	3. Chapter 3

**Like I've said before. I**** do not own Twilight. Or anything associated with it. That honor is Stephenie Meyer's. And thank you for the reviews guys! I know I just posted a chapter today but I couldn't wait to post this one too. I know the story is kinda slow starting, but very soon in the next few chapters its going to get really good! Just be a little patient. Thanks ;)**

BPOV

Why was I telling this stranger what happened to me? I didn't know who he was but it seemed like he knew me. This is the part I hated the most, the reason I cried myself to sleep every night. I couldn't stand people coming up to me and having a normal conversation like I was their best friend and I didn't know them at all.

"Please say something." he said.

"What do you want me to say? That I'm crazy for not remembering you? Because believe me if I could I would but its not that simple."

"What happened to you?"

"From what Charlie says I crashed a motorcycle into a tree and hit my head on a tree stump. I lost my memories when I woke up in the hospital. I didn't even remember him, and now I'm beginning to learn everything about him that I already knew." He was looking at me with his mouth hanging open. Was he about to cry? Who was I to this boy? A friend? A lover? No definitely not a lover, he was to gorgeous for me.

"Why were you riding a motor cycle?"

"All I know is Jacob my best friend was trying to keep my mind off of stuff. He never told me why exactly we were doing it but I never pushed him to answer my questions either. I guess I liked to live for the thrill. Every time I bring it up he moves on to a different subject. It hurts him to look at me sometimes."

"Can you take me to this Jacob? I need to know everything."

"I told you before, I don't even know you. Who are you to me? Why has it taken so long for you to come back into my life?"

"I cant tell you anything until I speak with Jacob. Please just trust me. I will tell you everything you need to know and more."

I was happy to finally meet someone that would tell me everything. Ever since my accident Charlie or Jacob would bring up my past that much. Even after I found a CD with beautiful Music on it and asked Charlie who composed this he said its no one you need to be concerned about, he is never coming back anyway.

"Well I can take you to La Push then, that's where he lives."

"Bella I'm not allowed in La Push. Maybe you can have him meet us here or at your house tomorrow."

My anger took in the best of me. I was not going to wait until tomorrow to figure out what everyone has been hiding from me.

"I'm not waiting until tomorrow. If you want to talk to Jacob I will call him to meet us here."

"That's fine, do what you need to do."

I dialed Jacobs number on my cell phone and he picked it up on the second ring.

"Jacob, can you meet me in the meadow that I love some boy wants to talk to you."

"Who is he Bella?"

"He says his name is Edward."

Right then Jacob Growled. I've never heard him get so angry so fast let alone growl.

"I'll be Right there, don't move from where you are."

"O-Okay." I answered but the dial tone was already in my ear. Why did Jacob sound so upset?

I looked up at the Edward and said, "He's on his way."

"Good, this Jacob has a lot of explaining to do."

Before I knew it Edward was in front of me in a low crouching position. He looked like he was about to kill something or someone. I heard a growl in the forest and then Jacob appeared before me.

"Jacob! You got here so fast."

"Anything for you Bells."

Jacob spoke to Edward now in a harsh Voice even for him…

"What are you doing here Bloodsucker?"

"I should ask the same question Dog."

Bloodsucker? Dog? I guess they knew each other because those nicknames just weren't very friendly.

"I came to tell Bella I was sorry and ask for her forgiveness and never leave her again. How do you know Bella?"

"Lets just say when you left bloodsucker, you left her broken hearted and crushed. She had no happiness until she met me. I was trying to put her heart back together."

EPOV

I looked at Jacob and back to Bella. Could she have fallen for this guy? He was a freakin Werewolf for crying out loud.

"She doesn't need your protection anymore dog. I'm back and not going anywhere. It seems to me she is better off. At least I'm not letting her ride motorcycles' and crashing into trees."

"At least I didn't crush her soul." He showed me a picture in his head of Bella laying on the ground clenching her heart. Rocking back and forth yelling my name. How did the mongrel know anything about me? Could Bella have told him before the crash? I was still crouching down in front of Bella, and she touched my arm trying to get through to this Jacob. I didn't move, and wouldn't let her move towards him.

"Let her come to me bloodsucker or I will make you move."

I looked at Bella and she finally realized what was going on.

"Please, don't fight over me. I want to know why you keep on calling each other Blood sucker and dog? Do you know each other? Please, Please let me know."

She started to cry again, both me and Jacob held her to try to comfort her. Jacob hissed in his mind that was yelling at me…"WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST STAY AWAY CULLEN? SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH BETTER OFF IF YOU NEVER CAME BACK INTO HER LIFE. YOU WANTED HER TO PRETEND LIKE YOU NEVER EXISTED WELL IT WOULD HAVE WORKED AND YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN YOUR WISH."

I growled as I read his thoughts. Bella started to shake and hold on for Jacob for dear life. This is not what I wanted. Deep down inside I wanted to come back to the old Bella. The one that would have welcomed me back with open arms. I needed some air to think. Being around this dog made my mind clouded with frustration. If Bella wanted to know the truth then that's what she would get.


	4. Chapter 4

**I will probably say this every time but .I do not own Twilight. Or anything associated with it. That honor is Stephenie Meyer's. This is only the workings of my mind, with her characters. **

EPOV

After Jacob brought Bella home and it was safe I would return through her window and tell her the tale of our love. That dog couldn't break the treaty as long as I was around. When I got back to the abandon house all the lights were on. I could hear people inside murmuring to each other about what was happening.

"Edward, I know your out there so you better get here fast, you have a lot of explaining to do!"

Ugh Alice was back and it appeared to me the whole family was to. I walked through the house with my head down and waited for all their wondering questions.

"What's going on Edward? One minute I saw you with Emmett and the next you were running through the forest to find Bella."

"Alice, if you had a soul to give would you give it to Jasper?" She hissed as I asked her this question.

"OF COURSE, but that doesn't answer my question."

"Bella doesn't remember me. She doesn't remember us, she remembers nothing. And now I cant help but feel like I need to give her all my attention, and show her what our love has done to me."

All at once all of them were on their feet gasping and trying to fight to give me a hug. I pushed them away heading upstairs into my bedroom. I had to think of how to explain our love to her.. To show her how her heart sped up every time she touched me, and fainted every time she kissed me. I would do anything and I mean anything to let her see.

It was twilight the best time for me to be around Bella, and now she was about to experience my world for the second time.

I ran toward her house as fast as I could never looking back. All the lights were off in her house and her sweet scent flooded the yard. I was up by her window in a split second, sliding it up to crawl inside. Once I got into her room I walked quietly to the rocking chair in front of her bed. Sat down and listened to her heart beat drumming slowly into the darkness. Out of no where she started to scream my name. What had I done to her? Even though she doesn't remember me my face would never escape her nightmares. I heard Charlie's snores in his bedroom, he didn't wake from her agonizing scream. I went and sat down by her on her bed. As I was about to reach up and graze her forehead her eyes opened wide with fright.

BPOV

He was there sitting on my bed looking at me with sensitive eyes.

"Edward?"

"Yes Bella its me."

"How did you get in my room?"

"I climbed through the window of course. It's the easiest way without waking your father."

"My window is on the second floor. I don't understand."

"Its okay my love I will explain everything, but you are just going to have to trust me."

"Are you going to explain how you know me? And why you keep calling me your love?"

"Yes."

He looked scared. I felt alone. And even though I didn't know him, I wanted to know what his beautiful mind was thinking. What he was feeling. And most importantly what I was to him. He whispered my name "Bella."

" I want to tell you everything from the beginning, even though you might be frightened of me just remember the old you wasn't scared of anything. Can you try and not be scared?"

"Anything for you."

He smiled a crooked smile and began the story.

"From the very beginning your blood was the sweetest blood that I ever smelt. I never wanted anyone as much as I wanted you. I wanted to take your life and end it so I could just taste the sweet scent that had been longing for me. One day at school while I was planning how I would end your life, you just looked at me and that was all it took. I was instantly in love. How I wanted your body and your mind as much as I wanted your blood. I hated myself for thinking about killing you. I was dangerous for you, and I even told you that but you didn't care what I was. Even if I was a monster you didn't care. You wanted me for me. You trusted me with your life. When I told you what I was you said it didn't matter to you."

"What are you?"

"I am a Vampire Bella."

I didn't know what to do. I wasn't scared, I just wanted to know more. I bit my lip trying to remember how it was before. Before I knew it his lips were pressing hard against mine. He was moving his tongue down my neck and back up to my mouth. I couldn't breathe but I didn't want him to stop. It felt right. I felt whole.


	5. Chapter 5

**I just wanted to thank all of you who are reading this story. I'm doing the best that I can to show you the enter workings of my mind. I do not own Twilight. Or anything associated with it. That honor is Stephenie Meyer's. Please Review and let me know how I'm doing. I would really appreciate it. ****J**

EPOV

I couldn't help myself anymore, seeing her bite her lip did the unexpected to my body. I was pressing her hot lips against my cold. She didn't seemed frightened, so I kept moving my tongue down her neck on her collarbone. Kissing every inch I could possibly see. Her heart pounded and never stopped. She moaned into my ear whispering my name.

"Edward."

"Bella, I love you"

She wrapped her legs around my waist and I dove in for another kiss.

"OH EDWARD."

I stopped what I was doing and looked into her eyes. For the first time since I saw her in the meadow, they were alive. She started to cry uncontrollably and put her arms around my neck.

"How could I ever forget you? You are my one and only Love."

If I could cry I would have. She remembered. It hit her out of no where.

"Do you remember me now?"

"When you kissed me, I felt it. I felt your love. I remember your love. I remember everything. Why are you back here?"

This is a memory I didn't want her to remember. I didn't want to have to explain my reasons.

"I needed to feel you, to see you."

"I thought you didn't love me anymore. You said you didn't. Oh Edward it hurt so bad, I can feel the pain in my heart. Why would you do that to me? I was lost for so long without you. I would hear you in my head when I did dangerous things, and that made me want to do even more dangerous things. When I was on the motorcycle I heard you telling me to stop. Begging with me to turn around and go back to Charlie. But you broke your promise to me and I wanted to do the same thing. I wanted to be unsafe for once. I thought I was going crazy, and Jacob was the only one there for me. How could you leave me here by myself?"

I let her yell at me for a long time. I didn't want to hear the pain I caused her but it was only fare. I thought this was the best thing for her but I was wrong to believe that she could ever forget about me, and to stop loving me. When she was finally done with her questions and her story I said…

"Bella I lied. I had to tell you that so you would forget me. Forget about everything. I never stopped loving you."

Her reaction to those words were something I will never forget. She kissed me passionately and quite forcefully just as I had done to her. Her hands were moving up and down my chest, starting to unbutton my shirt. A growl from my chest ripped through my mouth.

"Edward, make love to me."

"I cant, I cant do that to you."

"You said you would do anything for me and this is what I want. I want to make sure I'm not dreaming."

I couldn't deny her of what she wanted. I slowly took of her shirt, kissing here all over her breast. She was breathing very fast and very hard. I looked at her one last time just to be sure this is what she wanted, and then before I knew it we were interrupted with a screeching fingernail down her window.

**I know I left you with a cliff hanger but that's what keeps you on your toes!! I will update ASAP. Maybe tomorrow. I have a lot more writing to do. **


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own Twilight. Or anything associated with it. That honor is Stephenie Meyer's. Thanks to everyone who has read this. I would love some feed back on this chapter to let me know how I'm doing. **

BPOV

I jumped up so fast it made me dizzy. Edward was in front of the window looking out side but nothing was there. Then his eyes went pitch black and he took a deep breathe.

"It's her."

"WHO?"

"Victoria."

I didn't want to hear those words coming out of his mouth. I had nightmares of her for the past year. Why was she back here? And how does she know where I live?

"Bella your not safe here, she wants you. She wants your blood running through her veins. I can hear her thoughts and she wont leave you a lone until she gets what she wants."

"Why me?"

"Mate for Mate." is all he said.

My blood went cold and Edward came and wrapped me up in his arms. I've waited so long for this moment where he would hold me again. But now I just wanted him to go and save himself. I'm not safe for him.

Alice's POV

Gasp no she cant do that. Jasper could feel my concern and he came running over to me.

"What's going on?"

"Its Bella."

"Damnit Alice what's going on with Bella?"

"I saw her running in the forest screaming at darkness saying take me, I'm the one you want. Just leave my family alone."

Carlisle came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder trying to calm me down. My phone started to ring.

"Edward, where are you?"

"I'm with Bella at her house and I just smelled Victoria. She wants her blood Alice, she wants her and she will not give up until she gets what she wants."

"I just saw something Edward and I need you here to tell me what you think."

"I'm not leaving her again!"

"Then Bring her with you, she needs to stay safe and the best place right now is if she is here with us."

"We are on our way."

BPOV

"IM NOT LEAVING CHARLIE!!"

"Bella it's the only way for him to be safe, for you to be safe."

"No Edward I'm not going anywhere. I've been taking care of myself for these last months and I can take care of myself now."

There was a deep growl coming from Edwards chest. He couldn't make me go, he would just leave me again. I cant let my guard down this time. I heard Charlie coming, he must have heard me screaming.

"Bella are you okay? I heard you screaming that your not leaving me, are you alright?"

"No dad I'm not okay." I started to cry and Charlie came running at me. He just held me for a minute and looked at me.

"You know what Bells, I think its time for you to go home to Renee. She needs you and you know I'm not really good with all the emotions your going through. I think it would be better for you to go back to her."

"I'm not going back. Not now."

"Well hunny, you don't really have a choice anymore."

"I'm eighteen years old dad, I do have a choice of anywhere I want to go."

"Don't pull this shit on me again Bella. You have no where to go."

Right when I was about to start fighting with him, Edward came out from my closet with a look I will never forget.

EPOV

Charlie looked at Bella. "Do you know who this is Hun?"

"Yes Dad when I saw him every memory came back. I remember everything."

He gave her a big hug and then pointed his attention on me.

"What are you doing here boy? All of a sudden you're allowed back into my Daughters life? I don't think so."

"Like she said sir, she is Eighteen and she can go anywhere she wants to go. And be with who ever she wants to be with."

Charlie looked at Bella and then back to me. His face went from pale to blood Red. And then he started screaming at me.

"LISTEN HERE EDWARD YOU CANT JUST LEAVE MY DAUGHTER IN THE WOODS BY HERSELF WITH A BROKEN HEART AND COME BACK ALL OF A SUDDEN. SHE WOKE UP TO NIGHT MARES FOR WEEKS SCREAMING YOUR NAME. IVE NEVER LOOKED AT SOMEONE WHERE IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE THEY HAD A SOUL. YOU LEFT BELLA WITH NO FREAKIN SOUL, YOU PRICK."

I couldn't help but Growl at this. Everything he said I saw. I saw her broken and torn from inside out. I saw the emptiness in her eyes when she talked or walked. But I wasn't expecting to see her smile when she saw, Jacob Black.

"I'm back now Chief Swan and I'm taking Bella where she belongs."

"And where is that?"

"To my house."

Before Charlie could argue I grabbed Bella by the hand and walked her to the door. She froze and stared at Charlie. He seemed hurt by everything that just happened. Then she ran over to him hugging him tight kissed him on the cheek and said.

"Dad, I love you very much. I will be back once I find myself. And as for Edward, he is my soul, the reason why I live each day. Please forgive me."

She ran back to me crying and started walking downstairs.

BPOV

Leaving Charlie was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. He helped me out so much in the past and I just broke his heart. One day he will know the real reason why I had to leave him. I didn't want that Bitch to touch Charlie or hurt him. When we got outside his car wasn't there.

"How are we going to get back to your house?"

"I'm sure you remember love, hop on."

The last time I was running with him we were running from James. That sent a shiver down my spine. Edward stopped running and slowed to a stop.

"What are you thinking?"

"I just don't understand why all of this bad stuff keeps happening to me. I still don't understand why you left me and why I was left to be tormented for months thinking about you and why you didn't love me anymore."

"Don't Bella, stop blaming yourself."

It happened so fast, I saw Edward in front of me standing still and then he was in a low croutch prepared to Attack. His eyes went dark and cold like they did before in my room.

"Running again Dearest Bella?"

"Stay back Victoria or I will kill you in a second." Edward said.

"You killed my James Edward, and now its payback."

She leaped at him and I fell back hitting the ground. I heard a growl and then I was being sucked into darkness.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry its taken so long to update guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please Review and let me know what you think….if you have any ideas of what should happen let me know.. Thank you 

BPOV

I woke up in Edwards bed. Standing over me were all the ones that broke my heart. 

Carlisle walked over to me and asked…

"How are you feeling Bella? Does your head hurt?"

"No I'm fine."

"You don't look fine Bells, you look like someone threw you against a wall" Alice said. 

"I really don't remember what happened. How did I get here? Where is Victoria?"

"I'm so sorry love, she got away."

"WHAT!!! How could you let her get away? She was right in front of you Edward."

"Well she was about to attack you again and I ripped her arm off and then she ran away into the woods and I didn't think it was right to leave you by yourself with your head bleeding everywhere."

When he told me that my right arm flung to my head to feel the knot and stitches. I hit it in the exact same place where I hit it before. Surprisingly this time I didn't loose all of my memory. After convincing everyone that I was really okay I just wanted to be a lone with Edward so we could talk about everything that happened and the reason why I had to leave Charlie all alone. 

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Could you please explain to me why you changed your mind and came back for me? I know you said you couldn't be without me but it doesn't change anything. I am still Bella the breakable and your still…well you."

"For the past few months I have been nothing but depressed and unhappy. When I left you Bella my whole world came crumbling down. I wanted to turn around and run back to you but the reason why I left was to protect you from me. To protect you from my world. I walked around feeling nothing, seeing nothing. My family didn't even want to be around me because I made them all sad just by looking at me. It got to the point where Jasper and Alice left for a little while because Jasper couldn't control his emotions when my emotions were black. I told Alice not to look into your future because I told her that you were going to be fine. I had to know that you were going to be fine. That you were going to grow old and have babies and be happy without me. That you could forget about me and just learn to love someone else. When I told you that I didn't love you, I didn't expect you to believe me. I thought I would have to convince you for hours. How could you believe that Bella? Couldn't you see that I would have given up my existence for you? I would have given up everything for you."

Of course with him saying all of this I just started to cry. Poor little weak Bella. What else was I suppose to do? Believe him? Forget about Jacob and Charlie and Renee and my whole life because he comes running back into mine? I was so confused and then when I looked up to see Edward his eyes said it all.

"Edward, how could you think that I would be able to stop loving you after everything we have been through? When I told you that if you left me I would die, well I wasn't lying. I died. I was a zombie, and have been a zombie for the last few months. Jacob was the only reason why I was a little bit whole. He kept me sane. Before my crash he was all I had and but I didn't want him to comfort me. I wanted you. I needed you and YOU LEFT ME in PAIN."

"I am so sorry Bella, well you ever forgive me?"

"I don't know if I can, I'm not strong enough for you to leave me again. If you left me again I wouldn't survive. I wouldn't be able to live anymore. I would die."

"That's never going to happen. I wont leave you again. I promise."

"You promised me before and you broke that promise. They don't mean anything to me anymore." "Bella, do you want me to leave again so you can move on with your life? Is that what you really want?"

"I don't know what I want. I need to see Jake."

"NO! You are not allowed to hang out with a werewolf. Especially one that's brand new."

"Werewolf?"

"Oh umm…yeah about that, your friend Jacob well he is a werewolf."

"How would you know that?"

"He smells just like one."

"I need Jake right now Edward. I have to talk to him. To ask him to tell me the truth. I have to know."

"I want to come with you."

"No, I'm doing this on my own. I've been on my own for 3 months now and doing just fine, I don't need your protection."

"If you haven't forgotten love, you were in a Coma and forgot who I was so how is that doing fine by yourself?"

"IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU WOULNDT HAVE LEFT ME!"

Now I started to get angry. Cant he see? Is he fucking blind? All he needs to do is back off right now and let me go see my friend. The friend that has been there for me, and held me and the friend I've fallen in love with. 

"Edward you don't understand. Since you've been gone. Its not just you that I love now I also love Jake."

EPOV

Oh no, I knew that this would happen. This is what I wanted to happen. But oh no. I was speechless. She was speechless. I looked into her beautiful eyes and grabbed her face. Bella's gasped. 

"I will be here waiting once you decided what your heart wants." 

When I told her that she grabbed the back of my neck and leaned in to kiss me. She started to pant really hard and then she fainted. 


	8. Chapter 8

BPOV

I woke up again in Edwards bed but this time I didn't stay long. I grabbed one of his jackets and ran out the front door. I had to see Jacob, I had to know the truth.

When I arrived he was already outside…

"You ever thinking about running away?

"What are you talking about Bells?"

"I just need to get away from here! I need to go where I can clear my mind. Monsters in stories are turning into real things. I don't know how much longer I can take all this information."

Silence

"Please Jacob, I need to know some answers." My eyes were pleading.

He looked at me with this hurt and pain, I saw a tear trickle down his face.

"Why are you crying Jake?"

"I'm NOT!"

"How do you explain this then?" I walked over and removed the tear with my thumb. Our faces were close together. I could feel his breath on my lips. He grabbed my hand and started walking on our regular path down to the beach.

"I have to know Jacob?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Do you love me?"

"I love you very much. You are my Best friend and when we are apart I'm not myself. I have to be near you to feel whole. But the thing is you never loved me Bella. You were always his. I've tried to not hold onto all these emotions that I feel but nothing helps. I was just hoping that one day you could love me. That one day maybe we could be together. It just makes more since for me and you to be together. I cant help but want to…."

My lips were on his. I didn't care anymore. I love Jacob Black. But I also loved Edward. Jake was right, it seemed easier with him. Everything flowed easier. His kiss was very much alive. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him. But then it hit me…I saw his face very clear in my mind. Edward. His topaz eyes. His strong jaw and thin lips. I pulled away from Jacob panting.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry. I can- cant do this Jake. I know I started to kiss you but this just isn't right."

"After what you just did you cant deny that you don't love me. Didn't you feel it? Didn't you feel the connection Bells?"

I didn't know what to do so I just looked at him and said "I'm sorry" and then I was running away again.

He called after me. Begging me to come back but I just kept running.

I got to my truck faster then imaginable. What am I doing? I am in Love with two completely different people. How am I going to get through this? I jumped inside my truck and turned the music up. I had to drown out my thoughts.

3 Doors Down came blaring down on me from the speakers.

_How do you know where you're goingWhen you don't know where you've beenYou hide the shame that you're not showingAnd you won't let anyone inA crowded street can be a quiet placeWhen you're walking aloneAnd now you think that you're the onlyOne who doesn't__Have to tryAnd you won't have to failIf you're afraid to fightThen i guess you never will_

I started singing at the top of my lungs and then the tears started flowing down my face.

_You hide behind your wallsOf maybe neversForgetting that there's something moreThan just knowing betterYour mistakes do not define you nowThey tell you who you're notYou've got to live this life you're givenLike it's the only one you've gotMemories have left you brokenAnd the scars have never healedThe emptiness in you is growingBut so little left to fillYou're scared to look back on the days beforeYou're too tired to move onAnd now you think that you're the only one who doesn't_

Oh how these lyrics spoke to me. This is what I'm feeling. This is my life. By this time I was pulled along the highway crying hysterically into my tainted hands. Then I felt someone pick me up and place me into their cold arms. Edward had me against his chest comforting me.

"Shh Bella its okay, your going to be okay."

"Nooo immm not ookay."

"Yes you will be, your strong."

"I love both of you Edward. I don't know what to do. I'm a horrible person." Edward grabbed my face with both of his hands gently.

"No your not horrible Bella, your only human. I left you and that wer-Jake was here to hold you back together."

"Edward?"

"Can you please take me far away from Forks?"

"Where do you want to go?"

"I just want to be somewhere far away and as long as we are together right now alone I don't care where it is. I just need you."

"Are you sure you can leave Jacob?Was I sure I could leave him? I had to know if I still Loved Edward Cullen with all my heart. I had to know what I needed and wanted to most. And the only way to do that was be with him and only him.

"Yes I'm sure."

So what did you guys think of this chapter? Please let me know and review…next few chapters will start getting a little umm how should I say this?? Graphic!!

I don't own twilight or 3DD lyrics.


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